20 Steps to Help Your Child Get Into the Right College

1. Wait until September 27 to take a hard look at college application deadlines.
2. Discover that University of North Carolina's application deadline is October 15.
3. Realize that child needs to write a supplemental 500-word essay for the UNC app.
4. Also that the deadline to request guidance office to send a transcript was September 24.
5. Consider telling child that he is not allowed to apply to UNC.
6. Reconsider. Surely he is not the only slacker requesting transcripts late?
7. Read fine print on Carolina's website stating that electronic application must be received by October 15; transcripts and recs can be sent later.
8. Celebratory high-five with child.
9. Attempt to help child request transcripts from guidance using Naviance (an online college application manager).
10. Fail. Apparently child failed to submit signed release form to guidance?
11. Argue with child who insists he did submit form.
12. Agree that someone screwed up and clearly it wasn't him.
13. Print form in question, sign it, and instruct him to submit ASAP.
14. Attempt to assist while child links Common App account with Naviance account.
15. Realize that it might have been a good idea to attend informational meeting at the high school re: college application process.
16. Account link successful! Teacher recommendations electronically requested! We're on a roll!
17. Leave child alone so he can start writing essay.
18. Check in an hour later. Child is lying on bed texting.
19. Go downstairs, pour large glass of wine.
20. Think about how much easier it was to apply to college in 1984.